Two weeks ago, I revealed the bad news to my 6th grade kids that they’re averaging at a 3rd grade reading level. But I also revealed the good news to them: our Big Goals!

We played a game and now they all memorize our Big Goals that we’ll be fighting for through the end of the year so that we can beat the war against the Achievement Gap.

Statistics:
The average 6th grader in the South Bronx reads at a 3rd grade level.
12 students in a class our size will graduate from high school.
5 students in a class our size will graduate from college.
Big Goals:
2 years growth in reading.
1.5 points growth in writing on the rubric.
80% average mastery of all state standards.

During our independent practice, I had my scholars answer the question: When you look at these numbers, how do you feel?

Many of them said, “It makes me feel disappointed in myself. It makes me angry. It makes me feel dumb. It makes me want to prove those numbers wrong.”

I was THIS CLOSE to bursting into tears just seeing how the injustices of the education system were affecting my kids. I told them that when I was in my junior year of high school, I found out I was writing at an 8th grade level. It broke my heart. So I asked them if they wanted to find out now how behind they are, rather than me keeping it from them and then finding out later in life.

As I was grading their reading and writing diagnostics, I straight up did burst into tears. Who let this happen to them? Whatever. It doesn’t matter now. It stops here.

A fight.

3 students in the front of the line had a “misunderstanding.”

Student 1: She pushed me.

Student 2: She accidentally pushed him and he thought she did it on purpose and he got mad.

Student 3: It was an accident.

Student 1: How could it be an accident?! I was right in front of your face!

Student 2: And then he called her FAT.

[Student 3 starts crying here.]

That’s right. This all happened as the entire line was quiet and listening to them argue. Unbelievable. I can’t believe this happens ON THE DAY we SPECIFICALLY go over RESPECTING one another.

Good news is that it was handled in 5 minutes.

I listened to each side, and after I realized that NONE of their stories matched up, I gave them two choices.

You can either choose detention, or we can all work together to come up with 3 things we’re going to do differently tomorrow so that this never happens again.

Thankfully, they begrudgingly chose option 2. The results are as follows:

1. I will make an announcement tomorrow that there will be no shoving in line, and no one will be peeking into my classroom. They will simply stand in ALPHABETICAL order until I am ready for them to come in.
2. If there is an argument or misunderstanding, it will be conducted in private and dealt with me. NOT in front of the ENTIRE class.
3. We will start over because tomorrow is a new day.

Hopefully, we’re accountable for these things and my scholars actually fulfill these goals.

And to think that Days 1 and 2 went so swimmingly! Children are so unpredictable sometimes.

I always come home super tired and hungry. I mean my calves haven’t stopped throbbing since yesterday and I can’t get a minute in my day to eat until dinner time. Teaching is so difficult, especially when all our schedules are still disorganized and I don’t have a curriculum.

Thus begins the war on the achievement gap.

I want my kids to know that it doesn’t matter where you come from; you can go to college. You aren’t born dumb, and you aren’t born smart. You work hard to get smart. So it’s up to you to dedicate yourself to exercising your brain to get it as buff as you want it to be.

That being said, I’m nervous and excited for this position (if I get it – crosses fingers). From my last post, you can tell how nervous I am about teaching middle school when I’ve only been trained to teach Pre-K to 2nd grade. But when it really comes down to it, I know I have the resources and the passion to overcome whatever challenges I will face.

My friend said to me today:

T: Wow S. I never imagined you being a teacher because I never thought about it. But now that I think of it, it seems like a good idea because of your personality.

Ms. S: What do you mean? I’m strict? I don’t curse. I’m bossy.

T: No, because you’re very organized. Creative. Nice, but when you gotta get down to business, you ain’t playin. You take on the leader role.

haha, coming from a person who’s known me since the first grade, her comments really mean a lot to me. One of my greatest wishes is that a stranger or visitor will ask my students about their teacher, and they’ll say, “Ms. S is nice. But when we gotta get down to business, she ain’t playin.” Also, I want them to say, “We can tell she really cares about us.”

If I hear my students say that, I’ll be so happy, and I’ll know I did my job well. Also, their test scores will tell me if I did my job well. If your students aren’t learning, you’re not teaching.

Wish me luck that the title of my next post will be “I HAVE A JOB!”

So as of now, I’m literally job-less.

Yesterday, I was sent an email with the option to potentially teach MIDDLE SCHOOL math or science so that I have a better chance at being placed sooner rather than later.

But middle school?! Can I really handle middle school kids in the Bronx? I’ve heard lots of (bad) stories from other corps members. If I had a choice, I’d really like to stick with elementary school kids. I feel like it’s so much easier to invest them because every word that comes from my mouth is like a pearl or a diamond to them.

Should I do it? Should I over-challenge myself to step out of my comfort and training zone? All summer, I was trained to teach a first grade class!! There are HUGE differences between a 6 year old and a 12 or 13 year old.

If I’m having fears and reservations about teaching middle school, I probably shouldn’t do it, right?

I just feel like I’d be much more effective in childhood education. I don’t think I can afford to take the risk, especially during my first year as a real teacher. I’ve got enough challenges to overcome as it is.

I laid down the law in math class today. Laid down the freakin’ law.

Ryan is a smart kid. I’d say he’s the smartest kid in my class. But Ryan’s problem is that he has the attention span of a cockroach. He moves around a lot and always bothers the other kids. My theory is that he’s just bored with the material because it’s too easy for him. I think I’m going to give him a folder filled with really tough worksheets so that he has something to work on every time he finishes his work about 100 light years ahead of his classmates.

As usual, Ryan was wreaking havoc in his little corner on the rug.

But as soon I gave little Ryan a second warning and wrote his name under the “Warnings” list on the board, he sat on his bottom, zipped his mouth shut, locked it for 10 seconds, and threw away the key.

Man, it always surprises me how this stuff actually works.

Kids are so cute though! This experience has tremendously changed the way I look at kids. I used to think kids would be the bane of my existence; beings that I would never be able to comprehend. I used to be passive about kids, or just plain not notice them. But now, whether I’m on a playground, on the subway, or in a grocery store…I always notice the kids. I notice what they say, and what they’re doing. I’m able to appreciate how inquisitive they are, and how quickly they can make connections and retain information.

For example, I was at the Natural History Museum in Manhattan on the 4th of July, and I saw this kid climbing on the statue of President Teddy Roosevelt sitting on his horse. The statue is pretty tall, so I said to the kid, “Be careful, ok?” And the following hilarious conversation ensues:

kid: It’s ok. Did you know that kids can climb really good? Because we come from monkeys.
me: Oh? Do you mean that there is a connection between humans and monkeys?
kid: Yea.
me: Did you learn that in the museum?
kid: Yea, but they’re different because they can grab things with their feet.
me: Can you grab things with your feet?
kid: No. Well, yea. But I can just hold things in between my toes!

Mind you, this kid was VERY young! Can you imagine having a conversation like this with someone 2 and half feet tall? Haha…oh kids.

And yesterday, when I was teaching 2-digit subtraction, Angie raises her hand, and out of nowhere says, “Miss Sapida, your hair is really pretty today.”

…

How do I respond to something like that in the middle of my lesson?!

Caught totally off guard, all I could say was, “That’s very nice of you Angie, but let’s focus on subtraction now.”

Today, when we were learning about picture graphs, another kid named Julian took a thread from his sock and started flossing his teeth with it.

Unbelievably hilarious.

And no matter how much he wasn’t paying attention, I couldn’t get mad at him, because I’d ask him a question to test if he was listening, and he always got the answer right! He’d just blurt it out without even having to look up at the board or at me.

Julian is a very smart kid. Very smart. He just has trouble listening to me because he struggles with English. When it comes to numbers though, Julian eats it up like cake.

I was telling my friend today that I hope each of these kids has someone who takes advantage of their resilient ability to learn. They’re like empty vessels that soak up things like a sponge! It would be a shame to let that go to waste.

I’ve seen people let it go to waste. I’ve seen teachers underestimate their students, failing to challenge them. “Dumb it down for them. They’re 6.” No! I won’t “dumb it down.” They’re going to learn rigorously because they can. I’ve seen them do it.

In response to Mr. G’s post, this underestimation of students’ potential is another reason why it’s so difficult to close the achievement gap. You expect that the kids can’t learn, so they don’t. It’s not rock science.

Thanks for reading